Me: Good to see the weather has improved for you. We had torrential rain yesterday but today seems brighter and the sun’s peeking through.

Nell: A little sunshine always helps lift the spirits.

Me: Don’t start that again.

Nell: What?

Me: I know you’re about to say that Dave and Harriet wait by the window every day for me to come home.

Nell: If you already know there’s no point in me telling you.

Me: I knew it.

Nell: Actually, they were just enjoying a cuddle in the sunshine.

Me: Oh.

Nell: Your return is marked on the calendar to avoid false expectations.

Me: I see.

Nell: Only three more sleeps to go.

Me: So, you’re counting the days.

Nell: We’re counting the sleeps. Days look after themselves.

Me: Did you say ‘counting sheep’? Are you finding it difficult to sleep without me?

Nell: Why would anyone want to count sheep, apart from llamas, of course?

Me: Llamas?

Nell: They share a field and the sheep to llama ratio needs to be strictly maintained.

Me: I didn’t know there was a sheep to llama ratio.

Nell: Let’s just say llamas are easily overwhelmed. Moving on, today is Andre’s birthday.

Me: Yes.

Nell: I haven’t written a poem as I know he doesn’t like any fuss.

Me: True.

Nell: And I only just wrote one for Faye.

Me: You did.

Nell: And there are only so many poems a Labrador can write in a week.

Me: Absolutely.

Nell: But I’d like you to wish him a very Happy Birthday from us all.

Me: I will.

Nell: Has the bear returned yet?

Me: No, but I’m sure he will. I can’t see Herr Hoffmann missing a birthday.

Nell: But he hasn’t been seen since Tuesday. Take this seriously, please.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: I can’t believe you sent me that photo.

Nell: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Me: You’re all under the kitchen table again.

Nell: It’s where we feel less alone.

Me: And you look so reproachful.

Nell: Do we?

Me: You know you do with your sad eyes and faces.

Nell: I hadn’t noticed.

Me: You’re even letting Dave rest his head on your back in a completely endearing way.

Nell: Am I?

Me: You knew it would make me miss you.

Nell: Moving on, how was your day yesterday and has the bear returned?

Me: My day was absolutely lovely, thank you. Alice and I went shopping for Andre’s birthday in the morning.

Nell: Did you buy anything for anyone else?

Me: I bought a few things for Kev.

Nell: I see.

Me: And then we collected the children and Johnny, Alice and I did a puzzle in the garden.

Nell: While Faye rode around on a giant unicorn?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Someone told me ice cream might have been involved.

Me: Alice’s best friend and her children joined us for an ice cream.

Nell: Dogs like ice cream.

Me: I know.

Nell: I’m not sure about unicorns.

Me: No.

Nell: But Labradors like ice cream a lot.

Me: I see.

Nell: Or any kind of treat.

Me: I’m aware of that.

Nell: Do they have dog treats in Germany?

Me: Of course they do. Why?

Nell: Just wondering. Has the bear come back yet?

Me: Not yet. He should be back by tomorrow at the latest. I can’t see him missing Andre’s birthday.

Nell: No. It’s terrible to miss out and be left behind.

Me: Are you guilt-tripping me again?

Nell: Why would you think that? I was merely making a comment.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Kev said the weather was cold and rainy but I can’t believe he had to light a fire.

Nell: Yes, and it’s nearly June.

Me: I notice you managed to secure the best place.

Nell: The yellow chair is where I sit.

Me: I know.

Nell: Moving on, kindly explain the giant unicorn.

Me: It was Chris and Shannon’s present to Faye. She absolutely loves it.

Nell: And the other photo?

Me: Alice and I were enjoying a Berlin Breakfast.

Nell: You seem to have taken everything out of the fridge and put it on the table.

Me: That’s what people do over here. They like you to have a big selection.

Nell: Extraordinary.

Me: I love it. It’s one of my most favourite things to do.

Nell: What are your plans today?

Me: Alice and I are going shopping for Andre’s birthday on Friday.

Nell: I hope you aren’t thinking of acquiring another giant unicorn.

Me: No. I think one is enough. Later we might go for a birthday ice cream with the family,

Nell: Nice.

Me: It’s very humid here so ice cream is just the thing.

Nell: Ice cream is always the thing with you.

Me: And they live above an ice cream cafe which is wonderfully convenient.

Nell: Dangerously convenient, you mean.

Me: Yes, but it’s Faye’s birthday and I’m on holiday.

Nell: Talking of holidays, how is Herr Hoffmann?

Me: He’s gone to visit some relatives in the forest.

Nell: Alone?

Me: He used to live here, Nell. He knows his way around.

Nell: But that was last year. He’s a Devon bear now. He’s not used to forest life.

Me: He’ll be fine. Don’t worry. Anyway, I thought he was ‘That Bear’.

Nell: That was yesterday. Today is another day.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Why are you three under the kitchen table?

Nell: Faye is five today and only That Bear has been invited to the party.

Me: Don’t call Herr Hoffman ‘That Bear’. He made the cake.

Nell: We wanted to be there.

Me: Faye’s coming to visit us in August and then we’ll party all over again.

Nell: I suppose that’s acceptable.

Me: Good.

Nell: I’ve written a poem for her. Would you like to hear it?

Me: Very much.

Nell: Ready?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Then I shall begin:

‘What was that?

What did you say?

Fayely Hildebrandt is 5 today?

Well, bless my soul

Are you quite sure?

Cos yesterday she was only 4.’

‘Of course I’m sure

You silly sausage.

5 comes after 4,

Now pass me an orange.’

‘Will there be cake?’

‘Yes, baked by a bear,

Now get off the table

And onto a chair.

Standing on tables

Is simply not done.’

‘Why not?

I think it’s tremendous fun.’

‘Tables are places

For people to eat.

Not spaces

For animals with cream on their feet.’

‘Just relax and be happy

There’s no need to fuss

Today’s about Fayely

And Family and Us.

And Us is a wonderful place to be

With Johnny and Papa and darling Mummy.

Even Granny is here

And Herr Hoffmann too

So let’s hear it for Fayely

Happy Birthday to you.’

Me: That’s lovely, Nell. Thank you.

Nell: My pleasure. What’s happening today?

Me: Faye’s a ‘Mittagskind’ at Kindergarten which means ‘midday girl’ and can be collected at 12pm and Johnny’s coming home early from school so we will be partying after that.

Nell: It looks like That Bear has already started.

Me: He’s allowed to wear a party hat.

Nell: Make sure Faye knows we’re thinking of her.

Me: I will. Sorry.

Nell: Is that Faye?

Me: Yes, we just waved Jonathan off to school and she’s going to Kindergarten in a minute.

Nell: It’s half term here, so no school.

Me: None of you go to school anyway.

Nell: Roary does and Walter Pigeon’s children, not to mention Henry and Horst’s nephews and nieces, of which there are many.

Me: Is Harriet waiting for me?

Nell: Yes. She does that at first when you go away.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: How was your journey?

Me: Let’s just say travelling with a bear isn’t straightforward.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: Herr Hoffmann didn’t want to remove his hat at security.

Nell: I’m on his side.

Me: He was most upset when they suggested he might be hiding something under it.

Nell: Was he?

Me: It wasn’t a marmalade sandwich, if that’s what you’re thinking.

Nell: I never said it was.

Me: It was a buttered roll for later.

Nell: How was the flight?

Me: Well, Herr Hoffmann wanted to sit by the window so we had to move to the front because he couldn’t squish in anywhere else.

Nell: Is ‘squish’ a word?

Me: I didn’t think the other passengers would move but when he asked them politely in fluent German they agreed.

Nell: I think the fact that he’s a large bear played more of a role than the fluent German.

Me: You might be right.

Nell: But now you’ve finally arrived.

Me: Yes and I’m so happy to be with Alice again.

Nell: I expect the grandchildren are delighted to see you, too.

Me: They were fast asleep when we got home but I saw them this morning and there were cuddles all round.

Nell: And a few bear hugs, no doubt. Don’t forget Herr Hoffmann.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Why are you sitting at the top of the stairs?

Nell: I’m monitoring all the Comings and Goings.

Me: There seem to be an awful lot of Comings and Goings for a Sunday morning.

Nell: That’s your fault.

Me: Mine?

Nell: Yes. We’ve had to move everything to an earlier time because you’re leaving for the station at 12.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann’s been wearing a hat since 5am.

Me: That’s a bit early.

Nell: Not when he has bread to bake.

Me: Shop-bought wouldn’t matter for once,

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: You’re going to have to manage while we’re away.

Nell: No, we are not. Lionel has been practising his bread making for weeks.

Me: Lionel King?

Nell: Yes. He’s taking over the kitchen.

Me: I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

Nell: Well, it’s happening. Now, have you seen the Welsh Corgi Choir?

Me: Isn’t it a bit too early for them?

Nell: Sunday Songs is earlier today. We can’t let you leave without a good sing-song.

Me: I wouldn’t mind.

Nell: Well, we would. Besides, in honour of Herr Hoffmann the Welsh Corgi Choir are performing ‘So Long, Farewell’ from The Sound of Music.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: In costume.

Me: I’ve never seen a corgi in a Dirndl.

Nell: It’s a sight you won’t forget.

Me: Can I smell bacon?

Nell: Of course. Sunday isn’t Sunday without bacon sandwiches.

Me: I agree

Nell: And David insisted. He doesn’t think he could cope with you leaving otherwise.

Me: My poor Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Make sure your iBone’s charged.

Me: I will.

Nell: And don’t worry. We will be fine. Just go and enjoy your special time with the family. And bring that bear back. We need you both.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: We have some sad news today.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Naughty Nigel’s brother Boo was taken ill on Thursday and your sister Charlotte and her wife Kerry had to make the difficult decision to let him go.

Me: They’re heartbroken. It’s the hardest decision we ever have to make.

Nell: And the kindest. No animal should have to suffer.

Me: No.

Nell: Boo is their Guardian now and watching over them with dear departed Harry.

Me: Darling Boo was such a gentle soul. We’re going to miss him terribly. Nigel must feel lost without him.

Nell: We dogs are more resilient than you think.

Me: Charlotte brought Naughty Nigel over to us yesterday to spend some time with you dogs and Kev while she and I went to an appointment. Was he okay?

Nell: He was a little bewildered at first as he has never known life without Boo. But David took him under his paw and they were soon barking at the delivery man together.

Me: How naughty.

Nell: There was also an unfortunate incident with the Stuffed Tiger.

Me: What happened?

Nell: You remember Nigel took against it the last time he was here?

Me: Yes. He wouldn’t stop growling.

Nell: Well, Kev thought he’d take it upstairs to avoid any further upset.

Me: Good idea.

Nell: But as he was carrying it upstairs Nigel bit it on the leg.

Me: Oh my goodness.

Nell: And he meant it.

Me: He really doesn’t like that tiger.

Nell: No.

Me: Did it go well otherwise?

Nell: Yes. We chatted about the good times and I reassured him that Boo was no longer in any pain.

Me: Good.

Nell: Now, you’re leaving tomorrow and that case won’t pack itself.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.

Nell: No need for sorry. Not today.

Me: Why is Dave sitting outside on his own?

Nell: He isn’t. He’s talking politics with Walter Pigeon.

Me: With Walter?

Nell: Yes. Walter has a column in the Pigeon Post. He’s most knowledgeable.

Me: I’ve never seen the Pigeon Post.

Nell: You’re not a pigeon.

Me: True.

Nell: The Beefies are roving reporters.

Me: Seriously?

Nell: They cover the lighter side. Gossip and entertainment in the bird world.

Me: The bird world?

Nell: You’re doing that repeating thing again.

Me: There’s so much going on I don’t know about.

Nell: Yes, Sherlock Martin. There is.

Me: Why is Dave talking to Walter? He isn’t a bird.

Nell: No, but with the election coming up David is wondering whether to throw his collar into the ring.

Me: He isn’t wearing a collar.

Nell: It’s a metaphorical collar. Do keep up.

Me: Do you mean Dave’s considering standing as an MP?

Nell: Maybe.

Me: Doesn’t he have enough in his bowl being Mayor of Kingsbridge?

Nell: That’s exactly what I said to my friend Dorothy.

Me: I think he should steer clear of politics.

Nell: I agree.

Me: You, on the other hand, would be perfect as PM.

Nell: Me?

Me: I’d vote for you every time.

Nell: Most kind, but I shan’t be standing. I have more than enough on my paws running this place.

Me: That’s a shame.

Nell: Especially when certain people are swanning off to foreign climes.

Me: I’m not swanning anywhere. I’m going to see the family in Germany.

Nell: Same thing.

Me: I’ll be back before you know it.

Nell: You’d better be.

Me: I’ll miss you too, Nell.

Nell: Let me finish my hot buttered toast and marmalade and have another cup of Earl Grey before you start getting emotional, please.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: You know when we go on our walks and Kev and the other two march ahead rather briskly leaving us behind?

Nell: Yes, it’s very thoughtless of them.

Me: No, it isn’t. They’re just trying to do extra circuits while giving us time to amble along at our own pace.

Nell: Oh, I see.

Me: It’s actually really sensible.

Nell: I didn’t realise.

Me: The only trouble is you try to go with them when it would be better to wait for them to come back around.

Nell: I know I do.

Me: But you know they’re always going to come back, Nell.

Nell: I don’t like being left behind.

Me: Neither do I, but we can only do what we can do.

Nell: You’re right.

Me: So, next time are you going to be sensible and stay back with me?

Nell: Probably not.

Me: I give up.

Nell: Moving on, all that rain has caused havoc amongst the insects in the garden.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Homes have been washed away and many are missing.

Me: That’s dreadful.

Nell: Henry and Horst are on the case, however, with an army of ants.

Me: I’m not a big fan of ants, to be honest. They get everywhere.

Nell: Yes. That’s exactly what they’re supposed to do.

Me: The rain was torrential, wasn’t it?

Nell: It was a little heavy.

Me: Tony got soaked on his rounds. Poor thing.

Nell: Lucky that Herr Hoffmann made extra soup and Tony had a thermos.

Me: Yes, we usually text Tony when there’s soup on the go as we know he enjoys it.

Nell: There won’t be any soup next week when Herr Hoffmann is back in Germany.

Me: Malcolm and Manuel can make soup.

Nell: Not like Herr Hoffmann.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: That’s Snoopy and Lucy our producers over in Canada

Nell: It is.

Me: They look absolutely exhausted.

Nell: They are. They’ve been in financial strategy meetings for months.

Me: I know. Poor things. It’s been a long time since we heard from them.

Nell: But we finally did yesterday and we thought we should update you all.

Me: Yes. They’ve been very busy working behind the scenes with Shel and Theresa on getting the rest of the finances together to make the pilot episode of the ‘Conversations with Nell’ animation series.

Nell: With your help we had already managed to raise half the amount needed.

Me: Yes, and the good news is that after much negotiation we are finally in a position to start working on the animation.

Nell: Shel is going to take the pilot to a huge television market called MipCom in Cannes in October to present it to potential buyers.

Me: Yes, he wants to find the right platform.

Nell: Is he going by train? Surely flying is easier.

Me: Platform as in ‘place for it to be screened’.

Nell: I see. Anyway, we wanted to let you know as soon as we heard because it is thanks to your support and generosity that we are able to do this.

Me: Yes. It’s so exciting. We are a big step closer to making my dream come true.

Nell: I always knew it would happen.

Me: I had my doubts along the way, but I kept hoping.

Nell: Just imagine seeing us all on screen.

Me: I’m hoping I can stay in the background.

Nell: Stuff and nonsense. This is your time to shine.

Me: I’m more of an observer, Nell.

Nell: We’re doing this together. You and me. Always.

Me: Yes, you’re right. We are. Sorry.