Me: What are you doing?

Nell: Dictating my notes from yesterday’s meeting.

Me: What meeting?

Nell: You’re very nosey for this time of the morning.

Me: I didn’t know anything about a meeting.

Nell: You weren’t invited.

Me: Who was the meeting with?

Nell: Our producers, if you must know.

Me: Your producers?

Nell: Yes, that’s what I just said.

Me: But the meeting with Shel and Theresa is this evening.

Nell: I’m not talking about Shel and Theresa. I said our producers.

Me: Who are your producers?

Nell: The Canadian twins.

Me: Who?

Nell: Snoopy and Lucy. Snoopy is based in the city of Vancouver and Lucy in the woods near Montréal.

Me: I don’t know Snoopy and Lucy.

Nell: We do.

Me: Do you mean you dogs?

Nell: Amongst others. The SAG is open to all animals.

Me: Are you talking about The Screen Actors Guild?

Nell: It’s The Screen Animals Guild. Do keep up.

Me: Why do you need secret meetings?

Nell: They aren’t secret. I’m writing the notes now so members can see them later.

Me: Oh, that’s good to hear. I look forward to reading them.

Nell: I’m afraid you don’t meet the necessary criteria.

Me: Are you sure?

Nell: Are you an animal?

Me: I could be an honorary one.

Nell: Let me put it to the vote and get back to you.

Me: I don’t like being shut out of things.

Nell: Welcome to my world.

Me: What’s that supposed to mean?

Nell: I don’t see my invitation to your zoom call this evening.

Me: Would you like one?

Nell: I most certainly would.

Me: I’ll ask Theresa.

Nell: It’s called Conversations with Nell for a reason.

Me: Can I be an honorary animal now?

Nell: Your request is pending.

Me: Right. Sorry.

Nell: That’s a beautiful photo of Poppy.

Me: It is, isn’t it?

Nell: She almost appears serene.

Me: Not when you look in her eyes. There’s still a feistiness in them.

Nell: She doesn’t particularly like being photographed.

Me: Neither do I.

Nell: She’ll have to get used to it when the animation series is made. People will be queuing up to get a photo.

Me: I think you might be exaggerating a little there.

Nell: Let’s see. Have you posted the link?

Me: It’s pinned to the top of the Conversations with Nell page.

Nell: Do it again. Some people might have missed it.

Me: Okay: https://gofund.me/42cc1159

Nell: Good. Now, you must update everyone on yesterday’s visit to the hospital.

Me: Yes. They’re pleased with the scar which is healing well but I’m going to have to use the chemo cream again on my nose and arm.

Nell: You can wait until after the family have visited, though?

Me: Yes, they said I should enjoy my holiday first.

Nell: Good.

Me: And they found a mark on my back which they are going to monitor.

Nell: I see.

Me: They took lots of photos and I have to go back in six months.

Nell: So they can see if it’s changed?

Me: Yes. If I notice any changes in the meantime I must contact them immediately.

Nell: How are you feeling about that?

Me: The consultant came to look at it and said it was probably nothing to worry about but you just never know.

Nell: Thank goodness for the NHS.

Me: Yes. Everyone was very kind to me. They said I can contact them any time if I’m worried about anything.

Nell: People are kind if you let them be. You just have to ask.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: You’re up early this morning.

Me: Yes. It’s my Wednesday Writers workshop and then I’m off to the hospital for my cancer checkup.

Nell: You look worried.

Me: There are a few things I’d like them to check on.

Nell: It will be fine.

Me: I hope so.

Nell: If there is anything of concern they will monitor it and then remove it if necessary.

Me: Thank goodness for the NHS.

Nell: It’s completely understandable that you’re worried. Anyone would be.

Me: Yes.

Nell: The important thing is to get it checked.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: It’s the reason why you decided to share your cancer journey.

Me: It is. If one person gets themselves checked because of me then it’s worth it.

Nell: In the meantime let’s concentrate on happier things. It’s less than two weeks until Alice, Andre and the grandchildren are visiting.

Me: I’m so excited. It really isn’t long now.

Nell; They’re spending three weeks here and then you go back to Berlin with them for a holiday.

Me: Yes. I hope they have good weather while they’re here.

Nell: It’s been so hot in Germany recently that a few weeks of cooler weather will be much appreciated.

Me: True.

Nell: So, don’t worry about that.

Me: No. I have enough to worry about already.

Nell: Stop jumping ahead of yourself. Unleash that inner warrior.

Me: I think I might have misplaced her.

Nell: She’s there. You just have to find her.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Have you had any breakfast yet?

Me: I’m not very hungry.

Nell: Well, David’s on his way upstairs right now with toast and cuddles.

Me: Bless him.

Nell: It’s just what you need.

Me: Sorry for being a bit anxious.

Nell: Cancer is scary. No need for sorries. Not today.

Me: What’s the matter with Harriet?

Nell: She’s very unhappy about losing her ball.

Me: You mean the one that sunk in the river?

Nell: Kev threw it away.

Me: Harriet asked him to throw it. He didn’t know it was half eaten and had lost its bounce.

Nell: It was her favourite ball.

Me: There’ll be other balls.

Nell: Easy for you to say. You’d be very unhappy if I threw your book in the river.

Me: You mean the one I’m reading now?

Nell: You’ve only got a few pages to go.

Me: That would be a horrid thing to do.

Nell: Exactly. It’s just the same.

Me: It’s not the same at all.

Nell: I know. I’m just pulling your tail.

Me: You mean leg.

Nell: No, I don’t. Harriet’s in a mood because David says she can’t have her own trailer.

Me: What?

Nell: When we start filming. David says Harriet might have to share her trailer.

Me: Harriet isn’t going to be sharing a trailer with anyone.

Nell: I’m not sharing. Not even with you.

Me: That was almost a compliment.

Nell: I suppose David could share with Harriet if pushed.

Me: There aren’t going to be any trailers.

Nell: What?

Me: It’s an animated series. It’s all in the illustrations.

Nell: You said it would bring us to life.

Me: It will. That’s what Derek is going to do with his drawings.

Nell: So what’s our job then?

Me: You are his inspiration. In the same way as you are mine.

Nell: So, the best thing we can do is to keep on having adventures?

Me: Yes.

Nell: And one adventure could be making a movie?

Me: It could.

Nell: We’re definitely going to need our own trailers.

Me: Of course you are. Sorry.

Me: Was that you barking orders at everyone?

Nell: Harriet was taking too long texting with Jim the Farm Dog on her iBone. We’re making a television series. There’s no time for idle chit chat.

Me: We’re not making it yet. We’ve got to raise the funds for the pilot episode first.

Nell: I know but look what we’ve managed to raise already.

Me: Yes, it’s absolutely amazing. People are being so generous. We can actually do this if we all pull together.

Nell: We can. We just have to keep spreading the word.

Me: Every little helps and each donation is one step closer to making this dream come true.

Nell: Yes. Onwards and Upwards.

Me: You don’t have to use that megaphone, Nell. Your voice is loud enough. It’s hurting my ears.

Nell: Stop complaining. Anyone would think you were a llama.

Me: I know my hair’s a bit fluffy this morning but it’s not that bad.

Nell: I’m talking about overreacting. One of the llamas fell over when David shut his clapperboard and then they all followed suit. Ridiculous animals.

Me: I think Dave might be getting a little carried away with it all.

Nell: He nearly felt the sharp end of Poppy’s sword at breakfast.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: I shouted ‘Take two’ and he thought I meant the bacon sandwiches.

Me: It’s an easy mistake to make.

Nell: Poppy was not amused.

Me: Is there any particular reason why she’s wearing jodhpurs and long boots today?

Nell: It’s got nothing to do with horses. She gave up riding years ago. Now, where’s my director’s chair?

Me: You do realise Shel’s directing, don’t you? You and I are going to be more low key.

Nell: Low key? It’s called Conversations with Nell.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

Me: Are you wearing a film director’s cap and why is Dave carrying a clapperboard?

Nell: We’re making a movie. Do keep up.

Me: We’re making the pilot episode for an animated series.

Nell: Potato, potahto. We won’t be making anything if you don’t post that link.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: Well, go on then.

Me: This is so exciting.

Nell: Just do it.

Me: Here it is: https://gofund.me/813c12d8

Nell: Now we all need to start sharing it far and wide.

Me: Yes, we’ve quite a mountain to climb.

Nell: Nonsense. Let me give you some statistics.

Me: It’s Sunday morning.

Nell: Just eat your bacon sandwich and listen.

Me: Do you have to shout at me through that thing?

Nell: It’s a megaphone.

Me: But you’re right next to me.

Nell: You’ve been writing a daily story since 2018?

Me: Yes, I have.

Nell: That’s nearly 2,000 stories.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: In that time you’ve gained quite a following.

Me: I have.

Nell: And not just any old following, These are people who care about you.

Me: I care about them. A lot.

Nell: I know you do. The thing is there are more people reading our conversations than you realise.

Me: Are there?

Nell: Yes. Not everyone likes to comment but they are still there.

Me: True.

Nell: So let them help you make this happen.

Me: Okay.

Nell: And ask their friends, family, acquaintances to help them help you.

Me: You mean spread the word?

Nell: Yes. If 1,000 people donate £12 we’ve hit the target.

Me: That doesn’t sound so bad.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: Is the Welsh Corgi Choir singing ‘Climb Every Mountain’?

Nell: Yes. Especially for you.

Me: I’m really touched, Nell. Thank you.

Nell: We can do this. Together. Trust me.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: We have some exciting news today and it’s good news for a change.

Nell: As you know Sara has had a tough 12 months with her cancer diagnosis and her little sister Alex dying in April.

Me: It’s been truly heartbreaking.

Nell: But what you don’t know is that during the past few months something rather magical has happened.

Me: You might remember that our dear friend Shel visited us from Canada shortly after Alex died.

Nell: He’s a film director and thinks Conversations with Nell would make the perfect animated series.

Me: It’s always been my dream.

Nell: Well, the exciting news is that we’re going to make that dream come true by creating a pilot episode.

Me: The first person to join us is Derek Moorhouse, a Canadian animator and illustrator who’s worked on some real blockbusters.

Nell: He’s a big fan of your stories.

Me: Yes. He completely understands my whimsical world and now he’s going to bring it to life.

Nell: Sunny Ormonde from BBC Radio 4’s The Archers and Gillian Barber a British/Canadian film star are going to be our voices.

Me: I’m so lucky to have them.

Nell: Theresa and Kev are going to produce it.

Me: And Shel will show it to networks around the world.

Nell: Even though most people are doing this for nothing there are unavoidable costs involved in creating an animated pilot episode.

Me: Yes, like illustrations, matte painting, animators, sound studios, composer, musicians, and an editor.

Nell: So we’re going to have to raise some funds.

Sara: I’ve created a GoFundMe page which I’m launching tomorrow.

Nell: And together we’re going to make this happen.

Sara: Do you really think dreams can come true?

Nell: I’m sure of it. We all believe in you.

Sara: Yes. Sorry.

Me: He did it! A landslide victory for our Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Keep your voice down, please. Some of us are still trying to sleep.

Me: It’s all over the papers this morning. David Martin is the Mayor of Kingsbridge.

Nell: Yes, I know. I was there.

Me: Tell me again what happened.

Nell: I’m afraid Lionel doesn’t come out of this very well.

Me: So, it wasn’t an accident that he took the real Barberino?

Nell: No. He says the Beefies left him no choice but that might be an excuse.

Me: You think?

Nell: That’s what I just said. Anyway, when the Beefies forced The Great Barberino on stage he launched into a Song for David.

Me: I don’t know that one.

Nell: Of course you don’t. He made it up there and then.

Me: How clever.

Nell: It was all about our David and how everyone should vote for him. So they did.

Me: What did the Beefies do?

Nell: They were about to attack The Great Barberino when his bodyguards sprang into action.

Me: What bodyguards?

Nell: Henry and Horst.

Me: How did they get there?

Nell: On his hat. Do keep up.

Me: What could they do? They’re only small.

Nell: They sounded the insect alarm.

Me: I beg your pardon?

Nell: The wasps arrived first, followed by horseflies, bluebottles and a whole army of stinging ants.

Me: They hurt.

Nell: Yes, they do. They encircled The Great Barberino until the Royal Owl Force arrived.

Me: I didn’t know Owl Pacino was involved.

Nell: He’s always involved. Even Walter Pigeon stepped in at one point which really impressed David because they don’t always see eye to eye.

Me: They do when they’re playing Cowardy Custard.

Nell: I was speaking figuratively.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: How’s Dave? He must be feeling a little anxious now the big day has finally arrived.

Nell: David’s absolutely fine. I don’t think he should be wearing his hat and chain this early in the day but he’s the Mayor of Kingsbridge.

Me: Except he isn’t. How’s the Campaign Breakfast going?

Nell: Far too many animals are taking advantage of it, if you ask me.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: I found several corgis eating bacon sandwiches in the kitchen and they’re not even booked until 12.

Me: Were they Welsh?

Nell: Of course they were. One of them asked for bara lawr whatever that is.

Me: It’s laverbread in Welsh. A sort of seaweed purée you can spread on hot buttered toast.

Nell: What’s wrong with marmalade?

Me: Never mind.

Nell: Anyway, as soon as breakfast is over David is going to take a short stroll with Sally in the field and then Rupert will drive him to the Town Hall to place his vote.

Me: We must vote too.

Nell: Everyone needs to vote. Didn’t you notice the Whippets Institute minibus in the car park?

Me: No.

Nell: They’re operating a shuttle service to the Town Hall until 4pm when the vote closes.

Me: Good for them.

Nell: And the more adventurous can ride there on a llama.

Me: I’m not sure I want to do that. It might fall over.

Nell: It would if you got on it. We are talking about the smaller animals here.

Me: Oh yes.

Nell: What’s George Schnauzer doing eating scrambled eggs?

Me: Who?

Nell: The Fake Barberino. Lionel and Mr Giggles collected him a while ago. He shouldn’t be here.

Me: I’ve had an awful thought.

Nell: What?

Me: I think Lionel might have taken The Real Barberino. Sorry.

Nell: Campaigning against Stephen Seagull and the Beefies for his re-election as Mayor of Kingsbridge is definitely taking its toll on David.

Me: He was never mayor in the first place.

Nell: There he was talking through strategies with Kev on the yellow chair when he fell asleep.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Campaigning can be awfully tiring.

Nell: Kev was stroking his head and his eyes just closed.

Me: Bless him. At least it will all be done and dusted by tomorrow evening.

Nell: Poppy wants David to start the day with a Campaign Breakfast.

Me: How exciting. What is that?

Nell: It’s bacon based.

Me: Obviously.

Nell: With a sausage option.

Me: Small or large?

Nell: No. One or two.

Me: Any eggs?

Nell: The Cat’s insisted on scrambled eggs with smoked salmon but there will be boiled eggs too as they’re David’s favourite.

Me: No croissants?

Nell: Certainly not. After breakfast David will drive to the Town Hall to place his vote.

Me: With Mr Giggles?

Nell: No, he’s taking Lionel and The Fake Barberino. David will travel in Rupert’s sidecar.

Me: Good.

Nell: Although The Cat’s a little worried his cloak might get creased.

Me: Should he be wearing it?

Nell: Of course and his mayoral chain.

Me: It’s a safety chain but never mind.

Nell: After voting and the usual press calls David will return here for a light lunch.

Me: Quiche?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Steak and chips.

Me: That’s not light.

Nell: With a side salad. Voting closes at 4pm so we shall enjoy Poppy’s scones with jam and cream while we wait for them to be counted and the victory party will begin at 6pm.

Me: You seem awfully sure he’s going to win.

Nell: Believing is everything.

Me: Yes. Sorry.