Me: You could definitely be a villain in a Bond movie.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: When I woke up this morning to find you three doing your ‘We’ve been expecting you, Mr Bond’ faces you were the only one keeping it going.
Nell: Nonsense.
Me: Harriet tried her best but my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy couldn’t do it.
Nell: Do what?
Me: Stare at me in the unwavering way you do.
Nell: We have urgent matters to discuss.
Me: My bed is lovely and warm.
Nell: Never mind that. How’s your French?
Me: If you think I’m going outside in the rain to talk to a blue mushroom then you’ve got another think coming.
Nell: David says it mentioned a pain au chocolat. I know that’s your favourite.
Me: Why on earth is it talking about pastries?
Nell: That’s what we want to know.
Me: My French isn’t very good, Nell. I can speak fluent German if that’s any help?
Nell: It isn’t.
Me: Do we know any French Bulldogs?
Nell: Right, we’ve had this discussion before. A French Bulldog is a breed. It doesn’t mean it speaks French. Jeremy is a French Bulldog and he doesn’t speak a word.
Me: Who’s Jeremy?
Nell: Never mind that now. You don’t think all German Shepherds speak German, do you?
Me: Charlie did.
Nell: Charlie was exceptional.
Me: True.
Nell: So, are you going to try?
Me: Try what?
Nell: Try and talk to the mushroom.
Me: Can’t I have my breakfast first?
Nell: It’s all about breakfast, although the baguettes could be for lunch I suppose.
Me: I’m confused.
Nell: We think the blue mushroom is taking orders.
Me: Like a drive through?
Nell: Yes.
Me: Without the driving?
Nell: Obviously. It’s in our garden.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
