Nell: I’d like a word with you, please.
Me: What have I done now? I wore my hat all day and my earache’s a lot better.
Nell: It’s not about you. I’m doing some market research and need your help.
Me: What do we have to do?
Nell: The Daily Growl wants us to choose The Best David.
Me: The Best David? But there’s only one Dave.
Nell: I’m talking about a photo. We have four Davids to choose from.
Me: They all look the same to me.
Nell: There are slight differences. Ask that Afghan.
Me: I don’t want to ask that Afghan. What’s he doing here anyway?
Nell: He’s the photographer.
Me: Why is he eating a boiled egg?
Nell: He was hungry.
Me: Fair enough.
Nell: So, which David is the best?
Me: They all are. My Big Brave Beautiful Boy is perfect in every way.
Nell: Stuff and nonsense. Nobody is perfect. Nor should they be. Perfection is vastly overrated.
Me: You have a point.
Nell: It’s the imperfections that make us who we are.
Me: True. I suppose if push came to shove I would choose the first one.
Nell: I would have to agree.
Me: What does being chosen as Best Mayor actually mean? Is it only about looks?
Nell: No, it’s much more than that. David will have to sing and dance as well as bake a cake.
Me: Bake a cake?
Nell: He’s veering towards lemon drizzle at the moment, but is open to suggestions.
Me: What about his agenda?
Nell: His diary is full, if that’s what you’re asking.
Me: No, his political agenda. What does he stand for? What does he want to do as mayor?
Nell: More treats. Why do you think he’s baking a cake?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
