Dave likes to be close

Me: You know how Dave likes to watch Saturday Kitchen with me?

Nell: Yes. He looks forward to it all week.

Me: I didn’t expect him to get into the bed.

Nell: You shouldn’t have been in bed.

Me: It’s Saturday. I’m allowed.

Nell: So is he.

Me: You don’t expect a great big paw on your shoulder.

Nell: David likes to be close. He’s a tactile animal.

Me: He’s awfully heavy.

Nell: Never mind that, I have something much more important to tell you.

Me: We’re not having green soup for breakfast again, are we?

Nell: No. It’s boiled eggs and soldiers and Poppy is making a quiche for lunch.

Me: Thank goodness. Is the llama feeling better?

Nell: Yes. Knitwear Wolf has managed to organise a knitted jumpsuit to go under its pyjamas.

Me: That’s a relief. So, what’s the big news?

Nell: You are not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: My friend Pamela called Book a Beefy a few days ago to order herself a luxurious dog bed from Fifi la Beefy.

Me: That’s not exactly big news.

Nell: There’s more.

Me: Was it too small? She’s a Pyrenean Mountain Dog so she will need Extra Large.

Nell: Guess who delivered it.

Me: Terry?

Nell: No. Squawk.

Me: Squawk? I thought Sally had him locked away in a safe place.

Nell: So did I.

Me: Did he deliver it nicely?

Nell: Of course, he didn’t. He threw it over the gate and it ripped open.

Me: How dreadfully rude.

Nell: That’s when she saw the bed was stuffed with fleece.

Me: Nothing wrong with that.

Nell: Llama fleece.

Me: She wanted luxurious.

Nell: There is a naked llama in our field who might have something to say about this.

Me: Oh yes. Sorry.

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