David is distraught

Me: How is everything at home?

Nell: You has better get back here soon. David is distraught. Harriet is doing her best but he is inconsolable. He only ate a small breakfast.

Me: Why? Didn’t you tell him I’m coming home today?

Nell: It’s not you. It’s the falling out between Poppy and The Cat.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: They are only communicating by email.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: They simply won’t compromise and David is caught in the middle. Poppy says sequins have no place in the kitchen and The Cat says life without sequins isn’t life at all.

Me: That’s a little dramatic.

Nell: We’ve had to take it to court. Mutley will preside. Each party will present their case calling on an expert witness and then the jury will vote.

Me: Who are the expert witnesses?

Nell: Gladys is supporting The Cat, as David cannot be expected to speak out against Poppy even though we all know sequins are his thing.

Me: A wise decision and Poppy’s witness?

Nell: Young Malcolm. He recently completed his Health and Safety certificate and is aware of the dangers of non edible decorations in the kitchen.

Me: The jury are going to have a difficult task. Who are they?

Nell: Fortunately, the Dartmouth dachshunds have stepped up.

Me: I wish it hadn’t come to this.

Nell: Don’t we all? Harriet is attempting a last minute mediation so we can only hope. Anyway, how was the wedding?

Me: Absolutely lovely. The bride looked beautiful. Excellent company and delicious food and drink.

Nell: Did you dance?

Me: Yes, I was with the Irish and they certainly know how to party.

Nell: Good grief. You didn’t attempt that fast leg dance I hope. Only with your little legs it doesn’t bear thinking about.

Me: No. Don’t worry.

Nell: May I suggest you leave a little earlier as you took a long time crossing London and you don’t want to miss your connection?

Me: Yes. I already thought I would.

Nell: Good. Kev and I will be there to collect you at the station.

Me: If you are wearing sequins I will know The Cat has won.

Nell: The Cat isn’t going to win. You know it and I know it. Poppy is family and she is right.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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