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Lunch with Donald

Me: How is it going?

Nell: Well, Harriet and I had a pleasant journey. Poppy packed us some delicious pastries and a flask of tea. Those Little Sheps have gone downhill since the collies took over so I don’t like to stop there anymore. You used to be able to get a decent all day breakfast.

Me: Yes, I remember.

Nell: Anyway, we dropped Harriet at your sister’s. James will drive me back there after lunch.

Me: Have you talked to Donald yet?

Nell: Yes, we exchanged a few words.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: No, nothing particularly controversial. We discussed golf. I was telling him he can’t expect to reduce his handicap if he isn’t prepared to listen and learn.

Me: Oh dear. Are you qualified to be giving advice?

Nell: I think my years as a golf pro speak for themselves.

Me: I didn’t know you played.

Nell: Of course. Ellesborough Golf Club is just near Chequers. In fact I may well pop in after lunch and say hello to the girls.

Me: Where are you now?

Nell: Jeremy Hunt just arrived so I thought I would take some air. I hope they haven’t seated me next to him at lunch.

Me: I’m sure you will cope. You would have made an excellent Foreign Secretary.

Nell: Yes, I know but I had to turn it down.

Me: You mean Theresa offered you the job?

Nell: Of course she did. You can’t possibly think Jeremy Hunt was first choice.

Me: No. Sorry.

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