Book · Kidnapping

Keep it safe

Nell: Well, this is all extremely confusing.

Me: Tell me what Dave said.

Nell: David got a phone call from Charlie during the party.

Me: How did he have his number?

Nell: They have been chatting quite a lot recently about motorbikes and football. David likes Charlie so much more now he isn’t Siegfried.

Me: I must say that Spain against Portugal match was a bit of a corker.

Nell: A bit of a corker? Do speak English. Yes, it was rather exciting. Ronald took centre stage as usual.

Me: Ronaldo.

Nell: Anyway, do you want to know what Charlie said, or not?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Charlie told David to take my handbag and only return it after the party.

Me: Why?

Nell: I have no idea but that’s why I’ve only just got it back.

Me: How odd? I mean Dave is always stealing your handbag. Maybe it was a joke. You need to give it a clean out though, Nell. It’s ever so full.

Nell: I do. No time like the present I suppose.

Me: Yes. Does everyone still think the farm dogs spiked the drink?

Nell: Yes. Wretched animals drank it too, of course. They have no sense. What on earth is this at the bottom of my bag?

Me: What? Show me.

Nell: I’ve never seen it before.

Me: It’s a man’s cufflink. It’s like a little clock. The time is wrong though. It’s two hours ahead.

Nell: That’s not the point. Where does it come from?

Me: I have no idea.

Nell: Ah! It has to be his. I’m going to call him right now.

Me: Who? Richard Price?

Nell: No. Richard Price wouldn’t wear flashy cufflinks. He is far too sensible. Charlie, of course. Quiet, it’s ringing. He is answering. I’ll take it outside.

Me: Nell, don’t walk away. What is he saying? Come back. I hate waiting.

Nell: So, I was right. It is Charlie’s. He said he is very sorry it is in my handbag, but I am to keep it safe as it is extremely precious to him and then he was gone.

Me: Curiouser and curiouser.

Nell: Alright Alice, you are not in Wonderland now. Let’s watch Saturday Kitchen. All this intrigue is exhausting. It’s only a cufflink. Can you ask Mutley to take that ridiculous moustache off, please? He is not Hercule Poirot.

Me: Yes. We thought it was funny. Sorry.

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