Nell: Well, this is all extremely confusing.
Me: Tell me what Dave said.
Nell: David got a phone call from Charlie during the party.
Me: How did he have his number?
Nell: They have been chatting quite a lot recently about motorbikes and football. David likes Charlie so much more now he isn’t Siegfried.
Me: I must say that Spain against Portugal match was a bit of a corker.
Nell: A bit of a corker? Do speak English. Yes, it was rather exciting. Ronald took centre stage as usual.
Nell: Anyway, do you want to know what Charlie said, or not?
Nell: Charlie told David to take my handbag and only return it after the party.
Nell: I have no idea but that’s why I’ve only just got it back.
Me: How odd? I mean Dave is always stealing your handbag. Maybe it was a joke. You need to give it a clean out though, Nell. It’s ever so full.
Nell: I do. No time like the present I suppose.
Me: Yes. Does everyone still think the farm dogs spiked the drink?
Nell: Yes. Wretched animals drank it too, of course. They have no sense. What on earth is this at the bottom of my bag?
Me: What? Show me.
Nell: I’ve never seen it before.
Me: It’s a man’s cufflink. It’s like a little clock. The time is wrong though. It’s two hours ahead.
Nell: That’s not the point. Where does it come from?
Me: I have no idea.
Nell: Ah! It has to be his. I’m going to call him right now.
Me: Who? Richard Price?
Nell: No. Richard Price wouldn’t wear flashy cufflinks. He is far too sensible. Charlie, of course. Quiet, it’s ringing. He is answering. I’ll take it outside.
Me: Nell, don’t walk away. What is he saying? Come back. I hate waiting.
Nell: So, I was right. It is Charlie’s. He said he is very sorry it is in my handbag, but I am to keep it safe as it is extremely precious to him and then he was gone.
Me: Curiouser and curiouser.
Nell: Alright Alice, you are not in Wonderland now. Let’s watch Saturday Kitchen. All this intrigue is exhausting. It’s only a cufflink. Can you ask Mutley to take that ridiculous moustache off, please? He is not Hercule Poirot.
Me: Yes. We thought it was funny. Sorry.