Me: Have you seen Dave’s hat? I don’t know why he’s wearing it but he looks magnificent.
Nell: I have seen it, thank you. Poppy gave it to him as her second in command.
Me: In command of what?
Nell: Have you seen Poppy’s hat?
Nell: Well, you might want to do that now. She’s upstairs.
Me: This is exciting.
Nell: Just go and report back to me in the living room. I shall be watching Saturday Kitchen.
Me: I’m going now.
Nell: I don’t need a running commentary, thank you. Just look and leave. Don’t engage in conversation.
Me: I’m back. Poppy looks awfully sweet and a tiny bit fierce.
Nell: And what else?
Me: She’s dressed as a pirate.
Nell: I’m glad you noticed.
Me: Should we be worried?
Nell: Possibly, although a Little Concerned will do for now.
Me: I didn’t notice the cutlass.
Nell: It was there, believe me. She’s taken to hiding it under her fur.
Me: Do you think pirateyness can be catching?
Nell: There is no such word and no, I don’t.
Me: It’s just that Dave has a distinct whiff of the pirate about him today too.
Nell: David has a distinct whiff of bacon about him.
Me: It’s Saturday, Nell. Bacon sandwiches all round. Dave’s looking ever so grand, don’t you think?
Nell: David takes any role he is given very seriously.
Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Captain of a ship.
Nell: What ship?
Me: There has to be a ship. You can’t be a pirate without one.
Nell: If there is a ship, and I’m sincerely hoping there isn’t, Poppy will be the captain.
Me: Of course. Do you know why pirates are called pirates?
Nell: I do not.
Me: Because they arrrr.