Nell: That was one of the wettest walks we’ve ever had.
Me: At least Dave was able to run off the lead. Bless him.
Nell: Yes, ears flapping as usual.
Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. What were he and Harriet watching so intently?
Nell: The swans.
Me: You’ve got to be very careful with swans. They can turn nasty.
Nell: Yes. Swans have a side to them. It’s the royal connection, of course.
Me: What royal connection?
Nell: They all belong to The Queen. Do keep up.
Me: Oh yes.
Nell: As I said to The Queen the last time we discussed swans, ‘That is no reason to give yourself airs and graces. I know a Parson Russell Terrier who belongs to an award winning chef but it can’t even boil an egg.’
Me: What did The Queen say?
Nell: Suffice it to say Her Majesty is aware.
Me: It still doesn’t explain why Dave and Harriet were watching them.
Nell: We have reason to believe the swans may be in league with The Beefies.
Me: How strange?
Nell: I agree. One doesn’t expect a royal swan to engage with a rough Beefy.
Me: Maybe it’s to do with fish? Perhaps the swans fancy a nice bit of mackerel?
Nell: Swans don’t eat mackerel. They prefer aquatic vegetation. They will eat small fish and even frogs but they are quite happy grazing on grass.
Me: I never knew that. I wonder what it is. Do you think it’s worth asking Terry?
Nell: Terry is far too busy. Book a Beefy are run off their claws with all the visitors.
Me: Maybe they’re going to introduce a new luxury service ‘Secure a Swan’.
Nell: Secure a Swan? That sounds more like kidnapping. They belong to The Queen.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
