Gone to voicemail

Me: Have Poppy and Malcolm gone to their Anger Management class?

Nell: Yes. An extremely impressive big black Mercedes arrived with tinted windows.

Me: Very gangster.

Nell: Yes, although the driver was rather a surprise.

Me: Why?

Nell: I wasn’t expecting a crow.

Me: Was it wearing a hat?

Nell: Yes. But that’s not the point.

Me: Did it say anything?

Nell: No. It was unusually silent for a crow.

Me: Not everyone likes to chat.

Nell: No. Malcolm wasn’t happy about it. I could tell. His feathers tend to droop.

Me: Oh dear. What about Poppy?

Nell: She was already in confrontational mode so she just got in and waved her sword.

Me: Did the crow react?

Nell: Not really. It just nodded and muttered something into its microphone.

Me: Microphone?

Nell: It was wearing one of those head sets.

Me: I know the ones. Hands free.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: But crows don’t have hands.

Nell: No, they drive with their feet.

Me: What about steering and changing gear?

Nell: They have beaks. It was probably an automatic. Stop fussing.

Me: Do you think you could call Poppy on her iBone?

Nell: What for?

Me: I don’t have a good feeling about this, Nell.

Nell: Good grief. You’re letting your imagination run away with you again.

Me: Please.

Nell: All right, I’m doing it. Do calm down.

Me: Is it ringing?

Nell: It’s gone to voicemail. They left a while ago so they’re probably in class now.

Me: Nell, the house phone is ringing. What’s the matter? Who was it? Tell me, please.

Nell: It was Peter the Afghan who runs the course. Poppy and Malcolm never arrived.

Me: What?

Nell: It looks like you were right to be worried. We need a family meeting now.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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