Me: Can I get you another pillow?
Nell: No, this is just right, thank you.
Me: You know that’s my chair, don’t you?
Nell: Only when you’re there.
Me: I am here.
Nell: You weren’t.
Me: I am now.
Nell: I have arthritis, you know.
Me: Yes. I know that, Nell.
Nell: And we are in lockdown.
Me: I know that, too. Anyway what’s that got to do with the price of fish?
Nell: Nobody was talking about fish. It’s far too early for fish, apart from in Scandinavian countries where, according to Olaf, it’s eaten all the time.
Me: Who is Olaf?
Nell: A Norwegian Elkhound, so he should know.
Me: It’s just a saying and actually fish is eaten everywhere for breakfast. The Cat has smoked salmon and everyone loves a good kipper.
Nell: They do not.
Me: Well, some do.
Nell: Did you hear that Chloe is not allowed to give me my hydrotherapy treatment?
Me: Yes. It’s ridiculous. I don’t know why it isn’t allowed. It’s only you and Chloe in the treatment room.
Nell: It’s not essential, apparently.
Me: It’s lucky we’re doing our regular walks.
Nell: Earl Grey is essential.
Me: Yes. We couldn’t possibly manage without a cup of tea.
Nell: Or scones.
Me: We probably could manage without those.
Nell: I beg your pardon? Don’t let Poppy hear you say that.
Me: Scones aren’t essential, Nell, and neither is bacon.
Nell: I can’t believe you just said that. Bacon sandwiches and Poppy’s scones are what have been keeping this family going through the hard times.
Me: And cake.
Nell: Cake is not up for discussion. There absolutely has to be cake.
Me: There are not a lot of things up for discussion, are there?
Nell: No. Including this chair.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
