Nell: This is completely unacceptable.
Me: What’s happened?
Nell: The kitchen is full of large animals waiting impatiently for their cookery class to begin and no sign of Poppy.
Me: She’s up in the studio with Harriet sleeping it off.
Nell: What off?
Me: I think she and Babycakes went out after Gladys’s Lindy Hop class.
Nell: There’s a 10pm curfew.
Me: I’m not sure her afternoon tea with John went that well. She seemed a little out of sorts when she got home.
Nell: Yes. I guessed that when she made an extremely hot curry for dinner. David thought the chillies were green beans and ate one by mistake. Malcolm had to rustle up a sweet lassi to take the edge off.
Me: Is that a breed of dog?
Nell: No, it’s a yoghurt based drink. Do keep up.
Me: Oh, I see. Do we know what John said?
Nell: Yes. He has ended the engagement.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: He said he will always love her but the current situation was intolerable for everyone and he was setting her free.
Me: Gosh. I’m surprised she told you all that.
Nell: She didn’t. My friend Pamela the Pyrenean Mountain Dog was sitting at the next table and heard it all.
Me: Even with social distancing?
Nell: She has keen ears. David is the same. He can hear bacon sizzling from miles away.
Me: That’s very sad.
Nell: Yes. Poppy obviously decided to try and forget about John by having a wild night out with Babycakes Gillespie.
Me: I’m not sure it worked.
Nell: No, and in the meantime we have a kitchen full of large animals.
Me: I saw Gladys go in there wearing lycra so maybe they are Gliding instead.
Nell: Gliding? In our kitchen?
Me: Yes. Sorry.