Me: Somebody ate the cheese while we were out yesterday.
Nell: Don’t worry it is being dealt with.
Me: There was a cheeseboard with all different kinds of special cheeses on it.
Nell: Yes. I know what a cheeseboard is.
Me: But it’s gone.
Nell: These things happen.
Me: Well, I think you three Labradors look very guilty.
Nell: No. We look concerned.
Me: Dave looks very concerned.
Nell: Well, that’s because David does not have a good record when it comes to food going missing.
Me: You can say that again.
Nell: Mistakes have been made in the past and deeply regretted.
Me: Harriet has got her worried look.
Nell: Harriet doesn’t like to see you distressed.
Me: And you look shifty.
Me: You are definitely hiding something from me.
Nell: Well, I can assure you that it is not a piece of cheese. Anyway, did you enjoy your dinner?
Me: We did, thank you. It’s lovely to see Linda and Graham again.
Nell: And I thought Linda was looking particularly lovely.
Me: I know what you’re doing, Nell.
Nell: And did you notice David’s exemplary behaviour? He respected Graham’s age and greeted him quietly and with respect.
Me: Yes. He was a Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: I’m not sure he needed to clean Graham’s beard quite so thoroughly but fortunately Graham didn’t seem to mind.
Me: No, he has a soft spot for Dave.
Nell: I think Harriet and I made a good impression too.
Me: I haven’t forgotten the cheese, Nell.
Nell: In my experience there are times when you just have to let things go and move on.
Me: Someone ate the cheese.
Nell: Life is not meant to be travelled backwards.
Nell: And cheese can be replaced.
Me: Yes. Sorry.