Who ate the cheese?

Me: Somebody ate the cheese while we were out yesterday.

Nell: Don’t worry it is being dealt with.

Me: There was a cheeseboard with all different kinds of special cheeses on it.

Nell: Yes. I know what a cheeseboard is.

Me: But it’s gone.

Nell: These things happen.

Me: Well, I think you three Labradors look very guilty.

Nell: No. We look concerned.

Me: Dave looks very concerned.

Nell: Well, that’s because David does not have a good record when it comes to food going missing.

Me: You can say that again.

Nell: Mistakes have been made in the past and deeply regretted.

Me: Harriet has got her worried look.

Nell: Harriet doesn’t like to see you distressed.

Me: And you look shifty.

Nell: Shifty?

Me: You are definitely hiding something from me.

Nell: Well, I can assure you that it is not a piece of cheese. Anyway, did you enjoy your dinner?

Me: We did, thank you. It’s lovely to see Linda and Graham again.

Nell: And I thought Linda was looking particularly lovely.

Me: I know what you’re doing, Nell.

Nell: And did you notice David’s exemplary behaviour? He respected Graham’s age and greeted him quietly and with respect.

Me: Yes. He was a Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: I’m not sure he needed to clean Graham’s beard quite so thoroughly but fortunately Graham didn’t seem to mind.

Me: No, he has a soft spot for Dave.

Nell: I think Harriet and I made a good impression too.

Me: I haven’t forgotten the cheese, Nell.

Nell: In my experience there are times when you just have to let things go and move on.

Me: Someone ate the cheese.

Nell: Life is not meant to be travelled backwards.

Me: True.

Nell: And cheese can be replaced.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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