Keep an open mind

Nell: I need you to listen very carefully and to keep an open mind.

Me: Why? You’re making me nervous.

Nell: Now, I know the house is fairly full.

Me: It’s completely full, Nell.

Nell: But as they say ‘There’s always room for a little one.’

Me: Is Gladys coming home then?

Nell: Yes, but in this case I wasn’t actually referring to Gladys.

Me: Who’s the little one?

Nell: Alejandro.

Me: He’s an alpaca, Nell. There’s nothing little about him.

Nell: I am aware of that but the nice man at the Ecuadorian Embassy says they need him to have a place of residency.

Me: What nice man?

Nell: He took a while to understand but when I said we would sign the forms he was happy to send them.

Me: Forms?

Nell: We all discussed it at Morning Thoughts and everyone is in complete agreement.

Me: They are?

Nell: This is the only way to get Gladys to come home. She’s not leaving Alejandro.

Me: It’s classic Stockholm syndrome. She’s fallen in love with her kidnapper.

Nell: He’s not a real kidnapper. The Beefies forced him into it. Gladys says he’s been wonderful to her.

Me: She would.

Nell: I think you will find him charming. His English is poor but he has a sweet smile.

Me: Does he spit?

Nell: No. He’s not a llama. Llamas are bigger with banana shaped ears. His are straight.

Me: Well, that’s a relief.

Nell: The Beefies will think they have a spy in our camp.

Me: Maybe they do.

Nell: Nonsense. Poppy and Malcolm are preparing an Ecuadorian feast. Langoustines and chicken. I drew the line at tripe.

Me: He’ll probably be happy with grass.

Nell: Poppy would never serve grass to a guest. You know that.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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