Me: You are so manipulative.
Nell: Excuse me?
Me: I have the best of intentions and then you give me that look and I am putty in your paws.
Nell: What look?
Me: You know exactly the one.
Nell: We have several.
Me: The “I am a poor starving Labrador” one.
Nell: Oh. You mean the Beseeching Look. Yes, it is a good one.
Me: You did it yesterday.
Nell: Excuse me, if I felt I would like to share in your Calamari Fritti.
Me: Dave is the worst.
Nell: Yes. David has taken the Beseeching Look to a new level. I’m impressed.
Me: He rests his head on my lap and sighs.
Nell: Very skilled.
Me: Harriet doesn’t do that.
Nell: No. Harriet prefers to wait at a distance but I think she needs to be closer. Her success rate is low.
Me: To be honest she looks more bewildered than beseeching.
Nell: Poppy doesn’t do beseeching. If she wants something, she asks. Loudly. It’s the Terrier way. Mutley expects treats to be brought to him, which is just as it should be at his age.
Me: Flamingos don’t beg? Have you ever seen Malcolm do that?
Nell: Of course flamingos don’t beg. They don’t have the right faces. What’s the matter with you? We can’t have households across the country full of begging flamingos. The mere thought.
Me: Have you lot ever considered letting us eat in peace?
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. If we weren’t there you would miss us terribly. How many times have I heard you say “Where’s Nell?” if I am late to the table?
Me: Only because you are always there.
Nell: Where else would you want me to be?
Me: I know. Sorry.