Me: I woke up this morning to find Dave staring at me.
Nell: David was checking you were breathing.
Me: Why?
Nell: I would have thought it was obvious.
Me: Not really.
Nell: Fear of abandonment.
Me: Rubbish. He was probably hungry.
Nell: That too, and he’s excited about this evening.
Me: Is that why you are all walking around in feathered hats and long boots?
Nell: Yes. It’s Guy Fawkes night.
“Remember, Remember
The Fifth of November
Wolfhound, Bichon and Spot.
We see no reason
Why Wolfhound and Bichon
Should ever be forgot.”
Me: I don’t think that’s quite right.
Nell: Of course it is.
Me: Who is Spot?
Nell: Spot is a treacherous Dalmatian who plotted to blow up the House of Dogs. Do keep up.
Me: Who were Wolfhound and Bichon?
Nell: Spot’s accomplices.
Me: Why do we have to remember them?
Nell: Because they are an example of how not to behave. A dog is not a sheep. We shouldn’t blindly follow the herd.
Me: So where does Guy Fawkes come into it?
Nell: We often wonder that ourselves. Anyway, there will be hot dogs, burgers and buns for everyone this evening around the fire.
Me: Lovely.
Nell: There will also be a reenactment.
Me: Gosh.
Nell: David is playing Wolfhound. Gladys is Bichon and Dominic Simmons is Spot.
Me: Dominic Simmons is a cat and you don’t like him.
Nell: Exactly. He didn’t want to, of course, but when we explained the burning was just symbolic and Malcolm would make him a fish finger sandwich, he agreed.
Me: He isn’t spotty.
Nell: He will be. Now we have a lot to do. Harriet is the narrator as she needs to rest her leg and she thought you might help her write something.
Me: Of course.
Nell: Not too fanciful please. Stick to the story. I know what you’re like.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
